How My Friendships Changed in University
Written by: Eiman Rizwan, 4th Year Political Science
Photo by: Western Communication
The High School Bubble
In high school, friendship felt effortless. You saw your friends every single day. You had similar schedules, shared classes, and built-in time together, whether that was walking to class, sitting together at lunch, or complaining about the same assignments. Even if you weren’t trying, your friendships were constantly being maintained because your lives were structured the same way.
Even after school, you most likely lived near your friends, meaning after school hangouts were a no-brainer. In high school, you could spend time with your friends every weekday, and probably on weekends too. In my personal experience, being with my friends was just a natural part of my daily routine. It wasn’t something I had to think about or plan.
Looking back, I realize I was spending all day, every day with my friends without even thinking about it.
The University Shift
Then university hits, and everything changes. Suddenly everyone is choosing different schools, moving to different cities, provinces, or even countries. However, even for my friends who also chose Western, we were all in completely different programs. That means different schedules, different buildings, different workloads, and entirely different routines.
There were days when I had a full schedule of classes while some of my closest friends didn’t have class at all. On those days, I would spend my breaks alone, grabbing a quick bite to eat, reminiscing about the times when my friends and I ate together and laughed until we were out of breath.
It’s not that they stopped being my friends, it’s that I stopped seeing them naturally. And this is the part no one warns you about.
Program Friends
Another big shift is the emergence of what I call “program friends”. These are the people you see all the time, not because you planned it, but because you’re in the same classes, studying for the same exams, and sharing notes/resources. You sit together in lectures, work through assignments, and often end up grabbing food in between classes. These friendships form out of proximity and shared stress.
And while these friendships are real and meaningful, they’re also different. Sometimes they stay within the context of school, and sometimes they grow into something deeper. But either way, they change how your social life looks day-to-day.
Friendship Becomes Intentional
The biggest adjustment for me was realizing that friendship in university requires effort. In high school, hanging out was automatic. In university, it must be planned. You have to text first. You have to coordinate schedules. You have to decide to make time for each other outside of class, whether that’s getting coffee, studying together, or planning a night out. And if you don’t? Weeks can pass without seeing someone you still care about.
That shift can feel unsettling at first, but it’s also an important part of growing into adulthood. Life after university is very similar; people have jobs, different schedules, and competing priorities. University is where you learn how to maintain friendships on purpose, not just by convenience.
The Next Chapter
Now, being in fourth year, there’s another layer to all of this. Everyone is about to go in completely different directions again. Some of my friends are heading to grad school, some are doing a fifth year, and some are heading into the workforce full-time. It feels like another reset, similar to first year but with higher stakes. And it makes you reflect on which friendships will carry forward, and which ones were tied to a specific time and place in your life.
If I could go back and tell my first-year self anything, it would be this: friendship in university isn’t about constant proximity, it’s about intentional connection. You won’t see your friends every day anymore, and that’s normal. What matters is how you show up when you do have the chance. Make the plans, send the message, and put in the effort. Because the friendships that last in university aren’t the easiest ones, they’re the ones you choose to keep building.
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